Dear reader,
I’ve shared some of my life rules with you over the past few months, but I’ve never mentioned how I refuse to buy coffee from a coffee shop. This rule doesn't come from budgeting or an appreciation for specialty beans. It’s pure, unfiltered cockiness. I believe that I make the absolute best coffee in the world. So, if you ever see me in a coffee shop, I’ll be drinking a smoothie or juice. Buying a latte is an insult to my own craft, and besides, I’ve already had my morning cup at home.
This legacy of mine didn’t happen overnight; I’ve had years of training. When I was a kid, my morning chore was making my mother’s coffee. Since I was too young to actually drink it, my only window of appreciation was taking a tiny, forbidden taste. I was engulfed in jealousy that I wasn’t allowed to have it, before pouring myself a bowl of cereal with strawberry milk.
I don't remember when I started drinking coffee, probably my last years of school, always the night before studying for an exam. Which, weirdly, never worked, because coffee at night just makes me sleepier.
The exact recipe is: half a cup of water, 2.5 teaspoons of Nescafé Gold, skimmed milk, and exactly six packets of sweeteners. My mom and I argue daily about how fast I go through the sweeteners, but my defense is always that “I just need my one perfect cup of coffee in the morning.”
Admittedly, things have gone off the rails lately. I’ve been pouring coffee straight from the jar like an animal, followed by a short, shameful detour I’ve had into matcha oat milk. Obviously, it tasted terrible and turned my coffee into a weird color. But we’re back to basics now.
And if you’ve already had your morning coffee but are still looking for a socially acceptable excuse to consume more caffeine, try Chef Charles Azar’s coffee tiramisu. It’s light, creamy, and let's face it, you can never have too much coffee in one day.
Melissa Manouchakian
Distribution editor
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