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PERSONAL ESSAY

Our toxic relationship with Lebanon

Since forever, the country has given us every reason in the world to leave it. And yet, like our parents and their parents before them, we keep finding every excuse possible to continue loving it.

Our toxic relationship with Lebanon

(Credit: Gilles Khoury)

A flood of tears pours from her eyes. Her body shakes with sobs. The day before, B. had run into her ex on the street. It had been five months since she’d last seen him or heard from him. In May, she had finally left him — after 10 failed attempts. “This time, it’s over. This time, it’s for good. No turning back, no relapse,” she had sworn that day.And slowly, her heart had begun to heal. B. no longer woke up with the weight of the world pressing on her chest, her head full of fog. She no longer cried without reason — not on the subway, not in the supermarket, not in the middle of work meetings, not hiding in the bathroom.Week by week, she regained her appetite and relearned something so simple yet so long out of reach: to live. Sometimes, lately, she even caught herself smiling for no reason. She had started seeing other men. She...
A flood of tears pours from her eyes. Her body shakes with sobs. The day before, B. had run into her ex on the street. It had been five months since she’d last seen him or heard from him. In May, she had finally left him — after 10 failed attempts. “This time, it’s over. This time, it’s for good. No turning back, no relapse,” she had sworn that day.And slowly, her heart had begun to heal. B. no longer woke up with the weight of the world pressing on her chest, her head full of fog. She no longer cried without reason — not on the subway, not in the supermarket, not in the middle of work meetings, not hiding in the bathroom.Week by week, she regained her appetite and relearned something so simple yet so long out of reach: to live. Sometimes, lately, she even caught herself smiling for no reason. She had started seeing other...
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