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NARRATIVE

What if I had stayed in Lebanon?

At summer’s end, an expatriate departing Beirut wonders what his life might have been had he never left, if he had chosen to stay in Lebanon.

What if I had stayed in Lebanon?

(Credit: G.K)

As at the end of every summer for more than 20 years, he stood at the boarding gate of Beirut airport with the same, inexplicable sense of being torn from a country he barely knew. He had left at 18. He only returned in passing — for a wedding, a funeral, the holiday season and summer vacations.His life was built far away, across the Atlantic. Time and distance carved such a gulf between him and Lebanon that he often forgot he came from here. He often wondered where home was. And yet, the attachment remained — intact, untouched, unbreakable. The sensation of tearing came back every time he left, like a riddle, beyond comprehension. More like this Lebanese diaspora: half a century of heartache Once again, summer had passed too quickly, in the blink of an eye. Once again, he had been stuffed with dishes his foreign stomach struggled...
As at the end of every summer for more than 20 years, he stood at the boarding gate of Beirut airport with the same, inexplicable sense of being torn from a country he barely knew. He had left at 18. He only returned in passing — for a wedding, a funeral, the holiday season and summer vacations.His life was built far away, across the Atlantic. Time and distance carved such a gulf between him and Lebanon that he often forgot he came from here. He often wondered where home was. And yet, the attachment remained — intact, untouched, unbreakable. The sensation of tearing came back every time he left, like a riddle, beyond comprehension. More like this Lebanese diaspora: half a century of heartache Once again, summer had passed too quickly, in the blink of an eye. Once again, he had been stuffed with dishes his foreign stomach...
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