(Credit: Nima Salha/L'Orient Today)
My deck of cards rolls its eyes every February when Valentine’s Day comes around.
Last week, two girls I had read Tarot for a few months back asked for a second reading. “I did everything the cards told me not to do [re: dating life],” one of them said. “And they were right. I shouldn’t have.”
“Me too,” the other added. “But you were a voice of reason in the back of my mind all the time.”
I’ve heard it all. “Why do the cards never have anything nice to say about the men I’m dating?”
“I hope you’re wrong.”
“Can we ask them again?”
It’s easier to blame and resent the cards instead of yourself or your messy dating habits. If you hate their answers so much, try asking lighter, less consequential questions, like “Will the U.S. go to war with Iran?” or “Will Nabih Berri remain parliament speaker even after his 110th birthday?”
To be fair, love and dating have been complicated since people first came up with marriage and courtship, and even before then, I’m assuming cavemen and women struggled to see eye-to-eye.
Inspired by Valentine’s Day season, I’ve pulled some cards to take stock of your love lives. Here’s a breakdown of what each sign should look out for, and some unsolicited advice.
Aries: Get over yourself
Heavy is the cross you force yourself to bear, Aries. Stop taking yourself so seriously. You’ve taken “know your worth” to an extreme level.
Next time you find yourself carrying around a load that no one forced you to hold in the first place, remind yourself that nothing is that personal. Making the first move doesn’t make you a martyr.
Your headstrong attitude has served you well in situations where you had to walk away from a partner you loved to save yourself from further hurt. While that’s great, you need to remember the past is in the past.
Not every new connection will be a repeat of the last; that’s the Devil messing with your head. Put that courage to good use before you miss out on what’s passing you by.
Taurus: Things are falling into place
I’m shocked that a Taurus has learnt to loosen their grip and let things come and go as they may. Good for you for learning that hard lesson after years of leaving claw marks on everything you attempted to catch.
Time has taught you that clouds always clear away, and any confusion you may have about possible crushes, relationships or issues in your current relationship is finally sorting itself out.
In the meantime, you have another issue at hand. Why do you put up a tough facade in front of your friends? Why do you feel shame when things go wrong? Others aren’t as obsessed with perfection as you.
Talk to your friends more. Take their advice to heart. Take their presence and care to heart.
In your next love life decision, ditch the Google Calendar and let your emotions and impulses take the lead.
Gemini: Dump him
You know what you need to do, so why do you keep putting it off?
Whether you’re way too attached to your single life and are refusing to let someone in, or you’re way too attached to a relationship that no longer serves you, you need to start listening to your gut.
You’re too obsessed with your baggage, constantly worrying about it putting partners off. But no one can see what you’re carrying around except you. Instead, all we see is you huffing and puffing with your invisible weights.
There is a lot of success in the big step you’ve been putting off. Put down the bags. Block them. Text them. Ask a friend out. Trust yourself and go for it.
Cancer: There are too many people in your relationship
I never pegged you as the polyamorous type, Cancer. Since it’s so against your nature, why are there so many people in your love life? The relationship is getting crowded.
Instead of being constantly upset and sad over the past and the state of things, you’re forgetting that you control your own life. Your obsession with victimhood is not attractive.
If your partner isn’t giving you what you need, ask for it. If they’re being too friendly with someone else, confront them. If someone is being too friendly to you, confront those feelings that are coming up for you. Don’t let your partner stop you from finding your spouse. Or figure out why you crave that attention so much.
For the single Cancers, it seems like you’re meeting someone new and exciting. Try to solve your existing issues before giving them a chance.
Leo: Open your eyes
Change is scary, Leo; that’s why you’ve been putting it off for so long. Or why you were doing so in your last relationship.
The cards are rude but accurate. People and relationships always prove themselves to you. Trust the data. If your partner has stopped trying, that’s your answer. If they’re suddenly extra attentive and spoiling you, that’s also your answer. Confusion is not cosmic, and truth is not optional.
Single Leos, you’ve tested that person enough. Release them from probation. Go on that date.
After the drama and pain of the Tower crumbling down is a bright Sun in your future. Change is annoying, and worth it.
Virgo: Good for you
Life isn’t just falling into place on its own, Virgo. For once, your micromanaging and goal-oriented approach has paid off. This is all you.
Not compromising your morals and values has put you on a divine Chariot. Whatever situation you’re in is the one that’s right for you right now.
I know that as a Virgo, you’re already asking yourself, “But how can I improve?” How about: have you ever considered having fun? Being almost childish or impulsive about a crush or a big fight with your partner? It could reveal a lot to you.
Libra: Stop daydreaming
That decision you’re so torn over, because both options seem equal? They’re not.
One isn’t even real. It’s a total fantasy. Come back to earth, please. Stop imagining weddings and babies after just one date. You’re tying your own blindfold.
For the single Libras who love being single, that crush who you think you’re being reckless and impulsive about is actually an opportunity for a stable and loving relationship. Stop pretending you’re chill. It’s okay to be intense. And if the idea of a stable relationship is terrifying, let that poor person go. Seek help for what remains.
For those of you already in a relationship, take stock of what's real and thank your partner for it. Seek help for the hallucinations that remain.
Scorpio: Stop being the stereotype
Scorpio, you’re having that overwhelming urge to ghost everyone as soon as you’re faced with a chance at love? I’ll act shocked.
Single Scorpios, let that person in. Forgive your ex. I know it’s hard, but you can’t be the victim all the time.
Partnered Scorpios, forgive your partner for their missteps. Intention matters more than you think. You are not the victim all the time.
Maybe this Valentine’s Day will be the occasion to admit you deserve love, instead of constantly pushing it away.
Sagittarius: Galentine’s Day?
Just spend this Valentine’s Day with your friends, Sagittarius. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. You already know this isn’t the time in your life for a relationship or connection. Walk away from that crush that you’re “keeping around.” You’re right about them anyway.
Partnered Sags, stop carrying your baggage into your relationship. You also don’t need me to tell you to go for that grand gesture you’ve been contemplating. I hope it gets you the attention and praise that you love.
Capricorn: Relax
Stop losing sleep over worst-case scenarios that will literally never happen, Capricorn. You’re making your own life way too complicated and giving yourself a cortisol belly.
Don’t let choices overwhelm you. Take a step back. Reflect, plan, execute. It really can be that easy.
Single Caps, you’re meeting someone new. Someone fun and exciting. Let them rub off on you.
Partnered Caps, put the guillotine away and show some grace. People are people.
Aquarius: Reaping what you planted
You’ve been balancing your emotions, logic and strong sense of self in your dating life, Aquarius. It’s been hard and tenuous, but you finally have a clear idea of what you want. You’re about to reap the rewards.
You now get to enjoy the type of relationship you worked so hard to find. Get on the Chariot. Show that person some extra love.
If you’re single, it’s mainly because you’re picky. But why should that be a bad thing? Trust the lessons you’ve learnt. You’ve invested too much in yourself to let all that work go to waste.
Pisces: Just say it
Just say it. We can all tell you’re being weird and secretive. You’re not sparing anyone’s feelings; you’re just making the waters murky.
Being ‘logical’ about dating isn’t just about biting your tongue so you don’t dump your daydreams on your crush. True bravery is often uncensored honesty. Put that foot forward instead.
The lessons you’ve learnt about being pragmatic in love are shining through. Your partner has taught you a lot. Thank them for it.
If you’re single, keep it that way, for your sake and the sake of others. Now is not the time for you to get into anything new. You’re growing, but you’re still all over the place. Give it time.
For the astrology nerds, check your moon sign for worries and anxieties; Venus for desires and impulses; and your rising for good measure.
For everyone, take what resonates and what doesn’t. Check with your friends for reality checks.
